HeadlinesFunnyThis Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Lo…

This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For

Monday, January 14, 2013

Last month, a petition requesting the American government to begin construction on a Death Star by 2016 received more than the necessary 25,000 signatures on the We the People website to warrant a response from President Obama’s administration. This past week, the White House delivered.

While the title of the official response expressed the gentle, but firm, “No,” we were all expecting, the full message went above and beyond to explain why we are in a much better future than one that would need a moon-sized, planet-destroying space station.

From the Official Response:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

It becomes clear that Paul Shawcross (Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget), who wrote the official statement, not only knows his way around Star Wars, but also knows how much our Science, Technology, and Engineering fields are strong in the Force. We already have a solid foothold in space, enough so that we have an inhabited space station floating in our skies, and before long, civilian travel to space, including trips to the moon, will be a reality.

The White House took what initially seemed to be light-hearted Internet joke, and made an opportunity to show us just how far we’ve already come. “We don’t have a Death Star,” Shawcross states, “but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers. We are living in the future! Enjoy it.”

Shawcross then goes on to encourage us not to stand idly by as the world progresses. “If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.”

Read the entire Official White House Response here.

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  • SoshiGEE

    Comedy gold guys, comedy gold.

  • Miguel

    The petition should have been for, Why haven’t we returned to the Moon? It would be a lot cheaper!

  • Jason Legate

    Oh that is too awesome, but I would have put in the petition about Death Star necessity to destroy alien invaders or giant asteiods LOL

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